Inappropriate, According to Whom?

A client came back to me recently, asking to cancel one of the images she'd chosen. Her reason: someone close to her said that she was “showing off” in the photograph. The cancellation itself didn't bother me. Not at all. But the reason left me unsettled.

Here's the backstory. When she selected that photograph during the reveal session, there was no hesitation. We deliberated between some other shots but not for this one. She loved it from the start. She signed off on the order, smiling sweetly and thanking me profusely before she left.

A few days later, she messaged me. She wanted the photo taken off her order. I almost couldn’t believe it. Did she just pass up on a portrait of herself that she clearly loved because of someone else's words?

The photograph was beautiful. Dreamy and sensual. Tastefully done, and never made to prove anything to anyone. Just a woman, comfortable in her own skin, for one afternoon in front of my camera.

As a woman, I know this pattern too well... So much of a woman's life is spent being told which versions of herself are acceptable. We are expected to be attractive, but not too sexy. We should look confident, but not intimidating. We are told to be comfortable in our bodies, but only in ways that don't make anybody else uncomfortable.

Ladies, take this from yours truly who has watched this play out again and again from behind the camera... 𝑵𝒐𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆. A portrait doesn't have to be shown to the world to have value. It only has to exist for the person in it. It can simply belong to you.

Of course, I don't know the full story behind my client's situation. There could certainly be other factors I am not aware of and it is not up to me to judge her decision. What I'm sharing here is simply my own reflection, based on what I was dealing with, and how I felt.

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